Rearing (verb ) - Bring up and care for (a child) until they are fully grown, esp. in a particular manner or place.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever believes on Him shall have eternal life." -John 3:16
"If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." - 1 John 4:20
"If you love those who love you, why should you be commended? Even sinners love those who love them."-Luke 6:32
God is love. We are not. Nothing about us screams love, only the sacrifice that was made for us can be labeled with love.
I have thought until now that I loved and knew what love was. I was raised as a church kid. You know what I'm talkin' bout here.
I was taught to open doors for old people, say hi to the girl in Sunday School even if inside she made me want to gag.
I was taught with felt boards and paper Jesus figures on stories of a man on a Cross, a widowed woman with nothing to give but herself, a blind man and a cripple man.
I did JBQ, TBQ, Fine Arts...I was involved in every drama, every event, every trip the youth took you betcha I was there.
I was the little girl who sang on the church stage with an over-sized microphone singing words I really didn't understand at the age of four. But I was cute, right?
The first song I ever sang on that church platform was "He's still working on me."
I was just focused on getting it the crap over with and not forgetting the words. The words to the song are actually really silly, but the message didn't hit that little girl until she was a 21 year old woman.
"He's still workin' on me, to make me what I outta' be..."
Shoot, I was a grown woman...I knew my stuff. I could quote every verse you wanted to hear. I had won awards at many Christian affiliated competitions. I always wore my WWJD bracelet proudly and plastered a Jesus fish on my car bumper.
I was raised as a church kid. You know what I'm talkin' bout.
I knew nothing, NOTHING about walking in love, or love at all.
If you told me how cute I looked that Sunday, I loved you.
If you kept contact with me, I loved you.
If you respected me, I loved you.
If you told me what I wanted to hear, I loved you.
If you had a problem with me, I did NOT love you.
My head knew all these references and facts of Jesus, but my heart knew nothing of love.
AKA...I knew nothing of Him.
21 years and 5 months ago God chose me.
He knew I would grow up as a selfish, ignorant, disrespectful, loveless brat.
He knew I would turn my back on Him and question Him the entire way.
He knew I would clap and sing and raise my hands right on cue but feel nothing.
He knew I would talk behind people's backs.
He knew I would lose friends.
He knew I would gain enemies.
He knew I would screw up....
again.
and again.
He knew I would spit in my family's face with disobedience.
He knew I would tell lies to the people I would one day cling to.
He knew I would move to Alabama and then move back.
He knew I would transition to a new church when I thought I would be somewhere forever.
He knew I would act as a foolish teenage girl when I thought I knew everything.
He knew I would fall flat on my face in front of everyone I cared about.
He knew I would face the glares and stares of those who once embraced me with love.
He knew I would say yes when He said no.
He knew I would be on my bedroom floor that night, face red and puffy from sobbing...begging for Him to heal my daddy.
He knew I would one day come back to Him.
He knew I would one day understand to love people for where they are in their walk of life.
He knew I would one day learn to forgive through other people's unforgiveness.
He knew I would one day learn to love through someone's bitterness.
He knew I would one day transform from a child of hate, to a child of Love.
He knew I would be a child of hate, until I looked His way.
"This is love: it is not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son as the sacrifice that deals with our sins." -1 John 4:10
