Stretch-Marks and Sundresses

Today as I sat in the dentist office I couldn't help but hear a woman talking on her phone to whom I would presume was a girl friend.

The conversation made my stomach turn and not because she was discussing her child's recent stomach flu.

I became disgusted at how this beautiful 20 something young lady was skinning herself alive with such a negative perspective of herself.

"Ugh I know. I tried it on and was like, ' why are my hips so huge?! It just made me look like a whale, well I am one but...'"

"Well if I had a tan maybe I could pull it off."

I wasn't only sickened at how such a pretty girl could see herself this way, but that I do the exact thing to myself.

I tell my husband I hate my pale skin, my hips, my hair, the way my arms look in tanks & why it's so unfair I have hideous stretch marks yet have no children.

I am sick and tired of women killing themselves day after day by their bathroom mirror, including myself.

Who taught us to take our characteristics and label them as flaws?

Since when did having a patch of cellulite distract us from how beautiful we are?

I shy from shorts in the summer to hide my porcelain, freckled skin.
But, why?

That fair skin is what makes Britney unique.
That nose that you wish you could trade for a button one?
That makes you unique.

The way we measure ourselves as women is sickening.

We are more than our curly hair, our stretch marks, our freckles or moles.

I quit wearing foundation to cover up those freckles I used to detest.
I will wear sundresses and shorts with pride.
I will not ruin my skin with tanning or chemicals.
I will not cut or reshape the design the Artist intended for me to keep.

I am more than my skin.
I am more than my hair.
I am more than my weight.
I am more than my bra size.
I am more than my height.

I am more than comparing myself to an airbrushed photograph.

I am smart.
I am sarcastic and witty.
I am a book worm.
I am poetic.
I am kind.
I am compassionate.

I am a friend, a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter.

I am done speaking of myself negatively, even when I am alone changing clothes and my husband isn't around to rebuttal.

You are more than looking good in a dress or the size of your jeans.

You are more than your hips or those stretch marks on your thighs.

There is nothing more rare or beautiful than a woman who is unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection.

You're Human and That's Okay.

In today's world, we are all plugged in.

To Facebook, to Twitter, to Instagram, Snapchat, etc.

It's easy to post everything good happening in our lives.

I mean, who wants people to know that sometimes our life is hard?

That sometimes we yell at our husband?

That sometimes we snap before one of our kids?

That sometimes we slip on the ice and yell a few colorful words in front of the church deacon?

Nobody.

The world of media has made it easier to cover up our hurts than to share them, even when we are unplugged with people we love.

Even Jesus.

You may have forgotten, but Jesus knows you inside and out:

("For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb."

-Psalm 139:13)

He was right by your side when you cut down your spouse in front of your little one.

He was right by you when you slammed your finger in the car door, lost your job, lost your baby, got served those divorce papers.

Anyone can pretend, but it takes true strength to admit when you're suffering.

When life sucks.

When your marriage is falling apart.

When your job is at a dead end.

When you lay your head down on your pillow each night, sobbing yourself to sleep because you're over your head in debt.

When you don't have it all together.

At a point in my life, I was the greatest actress.

My life was great, my marriage was solid, a smile was always plastered onto my face.

You would have laughed in someone's face if they would have told you I was struggling with major depression, driving to lakes at night to cry and scream where nobody could hear me suffer.

One night, crying myself to sleep because my life was a complete crap hole, Jesus whispered, " I am enough. I am enough. Give it here."

What is 'it'?

Everything.

I didn't wake up the next morning to a different life.

Everything was the same, except someone else was carrying the load that day.

Jesus doesn't care that you're human.

He kind of made you that way.

You don't have to smile when you're unhappy.

You don't have to say you're "fine" when you aren't. 

You don't have to have it all together.

Your dishes aren't always done, your laundry is usually piling by the dryer, your kids are sometimes out of control.

You argue with your spouse.

You snap at your kids when you've had a long day.

You even surprise yourself at your extended vocabulary when you can't find your car keys.

God isn't aimed and ready, lightening bolt in hand, waiting for you to do something human again so He can scold you.

He wants you to be human and to admit it.

He wants you to say "God, today I really sucked at showing my family Your love" and to fall back into His loving arms.

("Come to Me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28)

He wants you to keep trying to walk straight even though He knows you're only a babe, occasionally going off course.

He wants you to trade your burdens for rest.

He wants you to know you will not always be the best husband, the best wife, the best parent, the best co-worker or friend.

You will really suck sometimes.

Being human is what made Mercy necessary.

Run towards Mercy, it's waiting.

(Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.)

Stop working so hard to have everything together.

Stop trying so hard to appear okay when you're not.

You're human and that's okay.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."