The rain began to make it's home in my frizzy locks as I hurried to fill as many balloons with water from the hose as possible before the downpour. My hands were soaked from popped balloons as my fingers fumbled around in the 9 o'clock darkness, trying to work just enough to tie those blasted dime-sized balloons shut.
I threw the most recent water-filled balloon into the bucket and ran onto the porch.
Snagging a limp bag of Popsicles, I walked through the bedroom door to three rambunctious boys, jumping and bright eyed to the contents I carried.
"Britney, I have a scratch," I hear.
I bent over, hands still cold from carrying the treats that now dripped down the boys' mouths to their fresh pajamas.
Kissing the scratch that you could barely see, even squinting and two centimeters away, my six year old's smile jumped from his soft porcelain face to mine.
In that moment, still soaked with rain, my knees on the lego-infested carpet, I realized; I am a mother.
As a step parent, you are always trying to stay on the balance beam, keeping your weight equal on both sides of your limbs.
"Am I leaning too much to the left? No wait, to the right?"
You're wobbling so much from thinking too hard, you don't even know which side to lean into.
Stop.
Dear step mom, stop caring about "the line."
The only line between you and your step children, is the one you make.
Every family is different, as is every step-parent to child relationship.
You may not want to kiss boo-boos.
You may not want to teach them to tie their shoes or wipe their noses.
You may want to kiss every single scrape, cut, owie your step child gets from crashing their bike on your steep driveway.
You may want to hold their hand and kiss their chocolate-covered faces.
The relationship you have with your step child is yours and yours alone.
You will be told you are over stepping your boundaries.
You will be told you are too involved or not involved enough.
You will never make everyone happy, just like a biological parent- you have to figure out how you want to be a parent.
Yes, you are a parent.
Yes, you are a mother.
Yes, you are a father.
DNA has never been what defines someone as a parent.
Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
When you're kissing microscopic boo boos, folding sheets, cooking dinner, filling up 300 water balloons for just 5 minutes of giggles...remember, you are just as much of a parent if they had come straight from your blood line.
Screw "the line."
Cross it.
Hopscotch all over that line.
Do not be afraid to love your step children fiercely.
Do not be afraid to cross boundaries to show them you're not just an extra.
Do not be afraid to bounce them in your lap, to call them your own.
Do not be afraid to be a parent and a good one.
Put the step in step parent by being the stepping stones for your children to greater, lovelier, greater things.
Take Ownership.
Cross. The. Line.
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