I'm going to let you in on a small secret.
Are you ready for this?
It's probably going to change your life.
Okay, here it is:
I'm...human.
Whew, I'm so glad that's over with.
Are you shocked right now?
OH, me neither.
As many of you know, I'm a fairly new step-mother, only filling this role for a year now.
I went from 0 to 100 in 1.6 seconds! Talk about a ride!
Each day I learn something new about our three very different boys.
Caler, Mr. Daddy Jr, whose favorite color is purple, who doesn't like anyone to touch his food but him, who is always the one to hug me the most and at the most random of times even when I'm sweaty from an afternoon run.
Corban, the Minecraft King, the blonde-haired, long-eye-lashed sweet heart who loves pizza, playing ninjas and is the first to greet me at the door.
Cannon...oh cannon, our bouncy, smiley, witty little thing who always seems to have a tooth missing somewhere yet never misses the punch line of one of my jokes.
Just like I learn new things about our boys each day, I learn how to walk just a little more as their step mother than I did the day before.
I am a very young step momma, making this transition with as much grace and wisdom as humanly possible.
When you step into your role as a step parent, you're walking on fresh baby legs.
You're wobbly, your knees shake and sometimes you trip on that insistent snag in the carpet over and over again.
Want to know something surprising?
I have never seen a parent scold their newborn baby for tripping up while learning to walk.
When they wobble, when they take those shaky first steps to their mother's open arms and face plant, slobbering all over their new rug, the mother doesn't furrow her brow and show her child disdain.
Why?
Because the mother knows she once had to learn to walk too.
She fell too.
No child enters the world knowing how to walk like an adult.
As a step parent, you don't waltz into your new family unit knowing how it works, knowing how to play your "role," the role only you can define.
If you do dance into your stepchildren's lives trying to play biological parent, not easing into being a parent, resentment can flare.
You are learning, step momma. That's okay.
You are human. That's okay too.
You do not need to fill the mother's role or the father's role, you need to fill your role.
Each unit is different, so you alone must decide what that role should be to create a healthy environment for your step children.
Fill your own shoes.
Because guess what?
Nobody...NOBODY can fill those shoes better than you.
You don't have to play mom, dad, disciplinarian or any role that this particular play doesn't call you to fill.
They don't need another mom or dad, they need you and all of the unique qualities and special love you have to offer.
They need you to love their daddy.
They need you to be an open ear.
They need you to hug them when they feel afraid.
They need you to support their parents in disciplines and structure.
You are the support beams to this house.
You lift up when you need to and you carry weight when you need to.
No one can be their step momma better than you can.
No one can learn to walk for you, you must learn on your own and on your own time.
"I have set the LORD continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." -Psalm 16:8
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