The Step Mom Chronicles; Finding Your Place.

I remember when our oldest had to be rushed to the Emergency room, bleeding immensely from his upper lip.
Jarrod hurried to his side as soon as he heard the cry and acted not only quickly, but logically.
As a father he didn't think twice about letting his hands form a cup for his son's blood to pour into over the cold wooden floor. 

I stood there, wide eyed and puzzled; feeling like a puzzle piece myself.
I was one of those frustrating puzzle pieces with strange, jagged edges that is so ambiguous you can't quite fit it anywhere you try to force it. 

Where did I fit into this equation?
Should I hold him?
Should I close my eyes and try to cup the blood myself? 

Before I could even react, Jarrod had swooped him up and made it half way down the highway. 
What did I do?
I cleaned up the blood.
I wiped the floor.
I wiped the walls of the bathroom.
I cleaned up the wreckage.

I threw the dishcloth into the washer, put the other boys to bed and then stood in front of my bathroom mirror. 
I was a mess. 
I looked like a frantic idiot, but had his blood all over my knees and on my shirt. 

As a step-mother (or bonus mom, as we like to call it-I can't get over the whole Cinderella gig) you're going to get blood on you. 

You're like a new culinary student, trying hard to please your professor, your peers and even yourself with your incredible abilities. 
You are trying to be a pro, but your hands are covered in band-aids from constantly chopping yourself up. 

The good news?
Everyone else's fingers are covered in bandages too, even the professor's.

I know we often feel like that jagged puzzle piece I mentioned earlier. 
We are constantly trying to shove our way into an empty place, only to get booted out again because we don't quite fit. 

You have a corner jutting out here, a curve where there should be a corner there and oh, are you even from this puzzle box? 
I think you got mixed in by mistake. 

That. 

It's easier to feel that way than to keep trying to fit into places you're told you don't belong into-either by someone else or yourself.

It's easy to listen to your voice, the world's voice, a biological parent's voice over the Truth's voice. 
Why are we listening to anyone but the One who created the concept of family in the first place? 
Um, hello.
What does He have to say?

John 10:10"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

We often apply scriptures like this to HUGE spiritual battles and we may not feel like our roles as step parents are included in that, but what bigger battle ground is there than the one in our own home, our own heart?

The enemy comes to steal your confidence as a step parent, kill unity in any way he can and to destroy the peace in your home, your family and within yourself. 

The good news? 

You have the biggest, baddest dude drawing the sword out for you. 

Psalm 46:1-3

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,  though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. "Selah"

First of all, boom.

Right? 

Even if the earth is blown to smithereens, God is saying, "Yo, I got you. Just Chill and watch me handle this." 

Okay, maybe that's from the New International Britney Version, but you get the idea. 

And the word Selah? Though an exact interpretation has never been pinpointed, it is often said to be a break in a song, a word telling you to "stop and listen" or "stop and think on that."

So do it. 

Stop.

Listen.

Meditate on that. 

The last bit of good news? 

You are right, you don't fit into that puzzle.

How is that good news? 

That old puzzle was broken. Half the pieces are missing from the box.

That puzzle was split down the middle and was incomplete.

You are a piece from a brand new box.

That box holds the puzzle only you can complete. 

Get to it.