50 Shades of Emotional Porn

Now before I really dive into this blog, let me be real here and admit I tried reading the first book in the  ever so popular 50 Shades of Grey series when it first erupted a few years back.
Not only was I constantly looking over my shoulder wondering if anyone could see what I was reading in my very own home, but I failed to make it half way through the book. 

First, I have to question why I was reading something I felt uncomfortable reading in the privacy of my own room in the first place.
Secondly, what was it about the book that made me squirm?
Why did I feel so guilty for reading it that I marked my place in the first book before the half way spot and never picked it up again. I had thought about giving it to anybody interested in not spending the money on buying it for themselves, but I felt so disturbed by it that I threw it into the trash, not wanting anyone to experience those pages on my watch.

I am a Christian, yes. But I don't think that is the root of the issue here, so I won't waste my time throwing scripture at you because I am sure you have already heard enough flack from conservative women (something I am not) as it is on pretty much anything you enjoy doing.

You shouldn't wear yoga pants out in public, you shouldn't have a glass of wine with your girlfriends, etc. etc. etc. 

Most likely I am writing this blog in my yoga pants and sipping on my wine as Netflix hums in the background.

I'm not here to preach, I'm here to pose a different perspective for you to consider.



The other day I was informed that some wives willingly buy their men magazines with half-dressed women in them (or nude, who knows). I won't really touch on that much, except what in the hell are you thinking? Even if you are not a Christian couple, why are you gladly handing your husband something that could ruin him and your marriage? You are there to partner with him and help protect him as much as you can from destruction. Guess what? Lust and porn is destruction. For more insight on the subject you can check out my blog on the ugly truth about porn here :

http://britkayandsuch.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-ugly-truth-about-porn.html

Aside from that, most women would feel betrayed and sickened to find their husbands crouched in a closet or locked in the bathroom with pages flooded of images of a sexual fantasy not of them, but a stranger. I know how it feels to witness the one that is meant to only have eyes for me blinded by the sex industry. It cost me years of self-loathing and trust issues for my wonderful husband to clean up after.

Now, why would you think your husband would feel any different seeing you fantasize over a sex life not your own? 
Women are not visual creatures for the most part, so the sex industry can snag us in a new way : emotional porn. 
Yeah yeah, sounds really silly.
But think about it, women all over (many of them married) are cuddled up reading pages filled with explicitly detailed erotica, all the while their husbands, though seemingly indifferent to their wives' new thrill, sit and watch the woman they married share a part of her heart only meant for him to fill.

Most men will not voice when they are hurting, but I guarantee there are husbands all over cringing at the thought that they are not enough for their wives in the marriage bed, so she is turning elsewhere to fill her needs- a book for crying out loud.

How hypocritical is it of ladies to elbow their husbands for even looking in the general direction of another woman, yet we are emotionally staring, gawking even, at the sexual object of Mr. Grey and the content of the books' pages?


It's interesting to me that the same women who 'Amen' my stand on men and pornography are the same ones who are gushing over their own sexual fantasies and snagging the first tickets to 50 Shades. It's sugar coated porn for women and that's the hard truth.

There are no 50 shades in lust, it is black and white...and will lead you straight to destruction.

Find another form of escapism or just learn to live in reality, with a real man and a sex life that isn't fabricated.

Next point: the book is filled with self-serving and self-seeking sex. I would call it intimacy, but that is not what is contained in it's pages. It is a domineering man, controlling his partner (if i can even use that word) in every way-emotionally and physically. Honestly, if you would take off your fantasy glasses, you would see it is a book about a male-chauvinist and his journey of abusing a vulnerable, weak woman. This is not the kind of love most little girls dream of as they play dress up and as a now grown woman such should still be the case.

As a feminist, or a woman period, why would you want to give one dollar of your money to such a cause? If we as women are now in support of a rich man enticing a woman into his lair of submission, feminism is dead. 
Huge statement, but seriously.

Everything about this poor girl is controlled. Mr. Grey even goes far enough to control what she eats and when. If this is okay with you, I am utterly lost.

All the feminists of the world sigh in unison and face palm in absolute despair. 

I will not be giving any part of me to this movement; the "grey area" of the sex industry.

Christian woman or not, you deserve a man of substance that will respect you, honor you, cherish you and love you not with domination, but with gentleness and honesty.