Take Up Space

I wish I could tell you where it started, why it started, that there's some magical equation or scientific reasoning to it.
I can't. I'm grasping at straws here, really.

The desire to take up as little space as possible can be traced back for decades.
It hangs on your mother's face as she turns side to side in her full length mirror. It fills the racks of Target's summer swimsuit line. It comes in waves, in media, in fads.

We cross our legs, fold our arms and self-observe in our school desks, our work chairs, as we stand among our smaller friends in photographs. We hunch with our arms crossed across our bellies as we sit and turn to the side with hand forcing an hour-glass shape when posing with loved ones. We are constantly self-adjusting to take up less space. 

A survey of 2,000 women revealed that the average woman self-criticizes at least 8 times per day, the majority regarding how much space she's taking up. One in seven of those women admitted to criticizing themselves throughout the entirety of their day, reaching a number of self-criticisms they can no longer count.

I am past the stage of wanting to be the size of a small child. It's ridiculous to aim for your pubescent body and leads to a downward spiral of unhealthy habits. Yet, like many other women, I can often find myself confused as to why I desire to take up less space. Why do I self adjust? Why does the stigma of smaller equals happier even still exist when we know it to be so dangerously untrue?

I wish I could answer these questions, dear one. I wish I knew all the reasons, the histories, the solutions. I don't have it. All I have to offer is potential healing before we step full swing into the summer months. Why do I talk about body image so often, year after year? Because it's relevance never fades. Year after year sweet friends and beautiful women cover, hunch, readjust to take up less space and I'm tired of it.

It's not fair and we weren't designed to live like this. 

We weren't designed to pick the plainer one piece simply because someone else says that "your body just isn't two piece material" or that some stupid pool mom gives you the eye when your curves and glorious, glowing stretch marks block her view of her own reflection. Honey-you were designed to be confident in your body, bask in the greatest creation and buy the damn two piece.

You were not designed to take up less space, but to multiply and build a fortress. 

Make the world your fortress and conquer it with your dreams and success! As women we are constantly being told that we should be smaller in every way- our success, our goals, our dreams, our passions, our bodies, so that we might not intrude on the territory of the man.

Screw. That. 

I'm done with that and I want to be the kind of girl that takes up space! I want to be successful and not just "successful for a woman."

I want to wear the two piece and laugh with my girlfriends over a glass of wine and not think twice about how many calories are in a glass of merlot!

I want to expand my dreams all over!

I want to waste time away laughing with my children at the pool, not covering and concerning myself with the way I look, because that is such a small, insignificant, earthly and fleeting thing to expend energy on.

I want you to sport that neon bikini this summer, stay up too late with friends, grab ice cream cones with your kids or have more than one glass of wine with your girls, all while looking freaking fabulous.

That extra skin? That's just the many, glorious pizza nights with your babes while you still have them.
That curve that folds a little extra over your bikini bottom? That's just the evenings of sharing a glass of wine with your lover and best friend over bad horror movies.
Don't waste moments like that worrying about taking up less space.


Get out there and take. up. space.