Hold The Cards.

I remember watching people play poker once. I was twenty and had just recently discovered rum. I liked thinking that I could pretend to be a badass with my 5% alcoholic sugar water.

 I would laugh at jokes that became stale when passing through the smoke of cheap cigarettes. 

I like to tell people this was my "hardcore" stage; you know the one we all are supposed to go through when we are young, stupid and searching for our parents' values that we seem to have misplaced somewhere, along with our shoes, around drink number three. 

The truth? I was never hardcore. After two rums I was talking to shag carpet and my asthma blew my badass identity when I choked on mint-flavored hookah. 

I was under the impression that the drunken, lost stage of life was a right of passage, so when fate didn't create it for me I did it to myself. 

Back to poker. 

I loved studying every player's unique bluffing strategy. Each eyebrow raise, twitch of the nose; all were road maps to read. 

I saw so many young idiots trust other players far too easily. 

They couldn't understand the road map, so they would continue to place more and more chips on the table. The other player would remain stiff, unmoved and continue to simply hold their cards close to their chest. 

They would wait for their prey to put it all on the table. Every chip and wadded dollar bill. 

Then...the other player would lay it all down. 

The winning hand. 

I learned those were the best players; the ones who had every reason to gloat, cheer and show the room just what they held, but chose not to. 

Sometimes to win, you have to hold those cards that could destroy your opponent close to your chest.

At times, okay always, my flesh says, "Dukes up! Let's fight! We've got the fists to win!" 

But God says, "Hands down. Leave the ring and leave your enemy to swing at the air."

It's hard to take off the gloves, but in the end you win by never joining in on the match. 

At times, okay always, my flesh says, "Britney, lay down that winning hand. What are you waiting for?! Give your opponent what's coming to them!" 

But, yet again, that Jesus fellow comes in and shuffles my deck. 

Jesus instructs us to keep holding that royal flush, that winning hand, those cards that could totally obliterate our adversary. 

He instructs us to keep holding because it's not our hand to play. 

It's His. 

It's not our job to play the the winning hand. 

It's not our job to ever step into the ring. 

It's not our poker game. 

It's not our match. 

It's His. 

Hold the cards. 

"The Lord your God will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:14