Condemnation and Car Rides

We've all heard this before: "there is no condemnation in Christ! Tell your past to be gone!"
What? Is this some sort of magic trick? I can just wish my struggles away? I can command my past to flee?
This is a joke.
Jesus doesn't mean that we will never struggle again once we are Christians. He doesn't mean that because we change our life that our old one simply disappears and all the baggage that comes along with it is no more.
No. The past is real. Your struggle is real.
Jesus says "There is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus; the old is gone the new has come!"
He doesn't mean, "Well, all the people you've hurt before don't remember that you hurt them and oh that eating disorder you had, I got that all covered you will never suffer from insecurity again."
Jesus knows we will fall.
He knows we will fail.
He knows we might take a small drink again.
He knows we might visit that website again.
He knows we might skip a day of eating again.
He knows we might hurt people again.
He knows we might lash out in anger against our spouse again.
He knows, but He has paid the price of your shame.
He sees His children as the small weak children we are, so desperately in need of grace and rescuing.

Jesus is like the father witnessing his child learn to walk on its own. It's so unsure of everything, yet gets into everything it can touch. It bumps into the precious heirlooms, breaking a few irreplaceable pieces of china along the way. It cries from confusion in its new ability and doesn't understand why dad smacks its hand away from the untouchables. The father helps the child around, holding its hands, steering it from harm, sometimes the stubborn child approaches danger despite its fathers subtle warnings. The child is confident in its own ability to walk straight and ends up face planted into the hard concrete.
The father does not leave the child screaming for help. The father does not pick the child up, spanking and scolding the child. The father does not say, "Son, I told you so! See, you fell now get back up on your own!"
No. No.
The father runs to his child, scooping him up in his arms kissing and cuddling the child into his neck saying, "shhhh...daddy's here. He's here. I know, I know."

We are like this child, learning to walk on our new spiritual legs. We ignore warnings. We trip. We fall. We get beat up.

But my God is not the God that turns His face from one of His children because they fell while learning to walk.
He knows we are weak.
He knows we need a Savior.
He knows we need mercy time and time again.

Sometimes the enemy comes in like a flood and bombards my heart with guilt, shame, fear, confusion.
But my Daddy comes in like a whisper while I'm riding in my car on the freeway.
The rain runs down my front window as I blare my music as loud as I can to shut out every demon that has its eye set on me that day.

My Daddy sits in the passenger seat and touches my face with His Grace and reassurance.
"You are MY daughter, not the daughter of shame. You are MY child, not the child of fear. You are captivatingly beautiful in My eyes, not an invisible insecure girl like you sometimes see. You are strong because I am. You are brave because you are mine. You are mine."

Jesus never promised easy.
He never promised we'd always love the Christian walk and all it entails.
He never promised the world would go soft on us.
He never promised the enemy would stop fighting to entrap our hearts.

Take heart, for He has overcome the world.
Take heart, for He has overcome the addictions only you know about.
Take heart, for you are worth far more than many sparrows.
I know my past is real.
I know my struggle is real.
But I know Daddy's here.

Romans 8:1-4 (NIV)
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, [2] because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. [3] For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, [4] in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Bad Hair Days and Eternal Things

Ugh, my hair just never looks right.

Why don't any of my shirts look good on me?

Why is my skin so pale when my friends are tan?

Why do I have no curves?

Why can't I just look like _____ or ______?

Why am I focusing on the physical things and not the eternal things?

Sometimes God gives women a heart check concerning our high emphasis on the physical things and not the eternal things.

To preface this blog, I am by no means saying a woman shouldn't wear make up or fix their hair in the morning or heaven forbid not wear deodorant: I am saying that often as women, we focus all of our attention on how we appear to the world physically versus spiritually.

I am the guiltiest of all concerning this, which is why I felt the need to blog about it. God heart checked me recently on how much I pick His creation a part. It's been drilled into my brain over and over again that "God doesn't make trash," and apparently that's supposed to cure the Christian woman's struggle with self image.

It doesn't.

Every woman has to have an encounter with Christ on this issue to truly realize the magnitude of what a problem focusing too much on physical appearance really is.
It may be when a woman is 15 or 50.
It may be over how she hates her curly stringy hair or how she thinks her breasts are small deflated balloons.
But by golly, every Christian woman will get heart checked by God at some point in their walk and realize, "Wow...have I really been focused on the wrong things this long? Am I really so concerned with the way my thighs look in jeans that I've become consumed with body image and jealousy? What eternal things could I have been spending all this thought and energy on that I've wasted on self pity over my looks?"

Many people do not and may not ever view this as an issue.
I do.
It's very near and dear to my heart when I see a woman, not just a young woman, pick themselves a part piece by piece because they are unsatisfied with their looks.

You may have a thousand people call you beautiful in a day, but if you don't see yourself the way your Creator made you, you will never ever be satisfied or pleased with your reflection. 

I'm no genius. I'm no therapist. But I am a young woman who has battled with her physical appearance since adolescence.

God says, "ENOUGH!"
God says, "PEACE!"

My spirit has been checked.
Where have I been making investments mentally?
Have I been focusing on all the things I need to change about myself to be physically appealing and for my flesh to be satisfied with itself too much and not enough on changing what's ugly on the INSIDE?

A bad hair day won't rob you of Jesus, ladies.

A heart that is lost and chasing after physical beauty instead of inner beauty...that mindset will rob you.

It will rob you of your joy, your confidence, your relationships and your true beauty.

Should we take care of the body our Lord gave us ?
ABSOLUTELY.

I love being fit and healthy.
I believe God desires us to be the best we can be in all areas including our health.
Just like we can focus too much on our appearance we can become out of balance and not focus enough.
We should cherish what God gave us and treat it with love and respect.

Will women struggle with confidence?
Yes.
Will Christian women still have days where they just wish they could change this or that about their body?
Yes.
Do we have to live inside the prisons we have made for ourselves concerning broken body images?
NO.
Must we continue to feel like failures because we don't measure up to our idea of perfection physically?
NO.

Make eternal investments.
Focus on being kingdom-minded.
Change the ugly on the inside not what you view as ugly on the outside.

A truly beautiful woman is a meek, modest, confident, humble, gracious, prayed up woman.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30  1 Peter 3:3-4  Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. Psalm 139:14  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Proverbs 31:25  Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

Loving Jesus and Hating the Church.

"I hate religion."


How many times have we heard this used amongst church goers?
What does this even mean?


I think what people, well I, mean when this is said is...well, more plainly put:
I hate that the CHURCH has become another place of laws and not love.

Ha, I am sure right now you are mentally defending YOUR church.
"Not MY church! We welcome anyone and are all about relationships and loving people!"

Oh, really?
Is your church heavily involved in the culture war?
Oh, really?
Is your church okay with members SUPPORTING Obama?
Wait, let me rephrase that.
Is your church not just okay with that, but do they refrain from rude political comments to democrats?
Oh...well, that's different.
Christians are supposed to be conservative republicans! It's the biblical/American way you know!
No, I DO NOT know.

Oh yeah, back to the main issue.

Does your church welcome GAY people with gracious arms?

Did you hear more about the Chik-fil-a debacle than Jesus this morning?
Oh...but that's different.
Being homosexual is a SIN and gay people are ruining the country and staining the true church and it's values!
Just look at them demanding their rights and stuff.

Ha. Don't make me laugh, church.
The gays are NOT staining the church, you are.

We do not demonstrate love and acceptance.
Did I say to tell the gays that they're right and you AGREE with everything they do?
No.
The gays aren't asking for this either.
They're just asking you to look in the mirror before shoving principles down their throats.

How come I never hear a sermon on gluttony?
How come I never hear a preacher speak on the issue of obesity/overweight members of the church?
Guess what, gluttony is among the same list as homosexuality.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (NIV).

(ouch)



Is this blog strictly about the mistreatment of gays by the "church"?
No.

It's about the root issue here.
The church knows not love or grace.

I know this may, excuse my french, piss some people off, but Jesus would be hanging out with the homosexuals if He walked the earth today.
He would be hanging out with the prostitutes.
He would be hanging out with the potheads.
He would be hanging out with all the people we see walk through the church doors on Sunday, shaking our heads exclaiming, "What are THEY doing here? THEY don't belong here. Do you know what they DO?"
Whoa whoa whoa, she said WHAT?

Yeah, you heard me right.
Jesus hung out with the groups that the church would not touch.
Jesus hung out with the groups the religious leaders pointed their fingers at.
Jesus hung out with the groups the snooty holier than thou church-goers wouldn't share their pew with.


Luke 5:31-32, "It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but to call sinners to repentance." 




Accept it or not, you're a sinner.
I'm a big ol fat sinner.

I've lied.
I've cheated in life.
I've committed gluttony.
I've been selfish.
I've been greedy.
I've disrespected my parents.
I've been so blinded by my own 2x4 plank in my eye that I couldn't see my own sin but felt led to point out why everyone else shouldn't be worshipping on Sunday morning because they did (whatever sin) last night.

The church should be like a big serving of that mystery meat they serve in the cafeteria lunch line.
It's made of a lot of random ingredients.

It is not up to the church to say what "brand" of sinners should be allowed to worship Jesus.

Liars, prostitutes, gluttons, gays.
Sinners.

Should we sit in our sin and refuse to move from it simply because God is gracious?
No.
Should we refrain from attending the church and praising our King because we are sinners?
No.
Should we EVER tell a person, "You are not welcome in God's house because you are a ______"?
No.




"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? "

Romans 2:1-4

Planes

Planes I've always been afraid of flying.  When I was little my mother used to give me chewing gum and coloring books to distract my wandering mind from escaping out the plane window, contemplating all the treacherous possibilities of what could come to pass. Recently, as many of you already know, God has confirmed my call to become a missionary.  So here I am, on the plane to see my best friend, and God has once again whispered His sweet promises to me on this short flight.  When we want something, when we love something, we will take on almost any fear to possess it. We will climb onto a small cheap looking plane filled with strangers, hands shaking and legs cramped up to get to someone we love.  We take risks.  We act out of faith that we will reach our destination. We become capable of things we once thought were ridiculous and scary and crazy. No, I'm not really talking about flying today.   I'm talking about taking that leap, that fateful jump into the unknown to do something we want to do so badly. I'm talking about pure faith; In yourself, in God and others that will help along the way to make the journey possible.  Im relying on my pilot to get me to my destination safely. I'm relying that he has had the training necessary to get me where I need to go. I'm floating thousands of feet in the air with a flimsy oxygen mask and a seat that can supposedly be used as a "flotation device."  I'm sure if my plane caught on fire from here to Charlotte, there'd be no water whatsoever to break the fall.  I'm helpless. For someone who is a control freak and wants to know what she's doing and when she's doing it for every second of every day months in advance, being out of control is a little difficult to grasp.  I'm the kid that asks the dude controlling the ride at the fair "Hey mister, do I control my own speed?"  Of course the typical buck-toothed sweaty middle aged man looks back at me and laughs, responding: "yeah kid. Sure."  He lied.  I was in third grade and I puked all over that fair ride...glaring at his sweaty face on the way out. I never ride fair rides ANYMORE. Getting on a poorly made spinning ride where I have no control over the speed or if my teeth fly out of my head isn't my idea of fun. I'm the friend that sits outside of roller coasters and says "I'll wait out here for you guys. Have fun." I'm the girl that says "I don't think that's a good idea. Let's stay home and watch the Golden Girls instead." But I'm putting myself out there today. I'm trusting in the faceless pilot I'll never see.  I'm trusting in the engine of the plane that I have no idea the workings of. I'm trusting in the strangers by the exit door to help me before they help themselves if something were to happen. I'm trusting in the silent man in seat 10D to help me with my oxygen mask when my fingers are fumbling all over the place.  Im willing to put my life in a human's hand I'll never shake, yet when it comes to putting my life in the Creator of the Universe's hand...I step back and think twice.  I love Jesus so much.  I am so in love with Him and His grace. I am so  beyond head over heels in love with the people God has called me to love and know and share of God's mercy to.  But I am afraid.  I have little faith. I question much and trust little. My fear to put my trust in Jesus and to rely on him to be my Pilot is so very scary.  God is the "faceless Pilot" at times.  Sometimes I find myself asking God for a resume of experience and a list of prior knowledge.  I find myself interviewing the Maker of the stars to see if He's "qualified" enough to fly this plane.  I've been the pilot for so long, I'm not sure if I'm ready to hand the controls over to Him.  I say "What if...?" God says "trust in Me." I say "Can I control how fast this goes?" God says "let Me take over." I say "I am afraid of what I can not know or control." God says "Fear not!" I say "Can we do this my way?" God says "not your will but Mine!" Who am I, Lord?  Who am I to question the Artist of the Heavens? Who am I to set foot on Your mission field with so little faith? Who am I to possess Your love? Who am I to be touched by the hem of Your grace? I am nobody.  It's funny how God uses the simple things to communicate the difficult things.  It's funny how God uses small people to show how big He is.  I'll never understand why God has picked someone so low and doubting. I'll never understand why God is willing to continuously prove Himself faithful over and over with such grace. God does not owe me explanation or proof. God does not owe me my demands. God does not owe me His resume. God owes me nothing because I am nothing. But God gives me everything because He is everything.  He is a merciful and gracious God that longs for my heart even more than I do for His, yet He still pursues it all the more. 

A Far-fetched Dream; A Close-Hearted Calling

We all have dreams; silly dreams, bad dreams, good dreams, vivid dreams.


I also believe we all have callings; there is a fine line between these dreams and callings to the naked eye, but such a thick and heavy divider in the heart. 


There are also the shallow hintings of what we think is a calling, but is really just a flutter of the stomach at the thought of a greatness or goal we would love to achieve but are not actually meant to fulfill.

What IS a calling? Webster defines a "calling" a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence.


For a long time I had a specific calling on my life, but instead of doing what many individuals do, convincing themselves they've heard from God and are called to do a specific action...I ran from it.

I convinced myself that I wasn't called, I just was psyching myself up with butterflies and dreams too big for a small girl to wear. I have told very few, well one person about this experience that happened 5 years ago, almost 5 years ago to the date.

My youth group made a trip to Caracas, Venezuela and at night we would have a worship service outside with the orphan children and workers in the dirt. My heart was very empty and I wanted God to fill it up so much...I wanted God to tell me what He wanted from me. We sang songs, lifted hands, and during worship one of the church leaders in Caracas prophesied to my dearest friends on the left and right of me. When he looked into my big green eyes, music blaring all around me, all I could think and hope was, " This is it! God is going to reveal His plan to me! Finally! It's my TURN!" But, nothing of that nature happened. The man turned to me, looked in my eyes filling with alligator tears and bowed his head and turned away.
My heart immediately shattered into a million pieces. What? How could this be? Both my best friends were just told of all the amazing things God was going to do through them, how could I have nothing to offer? Why didn't I have a purpose, calling, prophesy?! My anxiousness and joy turned to extreme bitterness.
I became hard-hearted towards the mission field and everything that went with that night. How could God abandon me like that? How embarrassing...all my friends were going to do BIG, i mean BIG things for Christ...and what was left for me? Become a house wife with three screaming toddlers tugging at my oversized t-shirt? Picking up goldfish off my dining room floor after I worked my 8-5 desk job?
No, that couldn't be right. That was not for me. Sure, that life IS some people's calling, and they do much more beautifully at it then I ever could...but I knew, I've always known, settling down was NOT my calling. Fine, I'd do things on my own terms and make a big life for myself without God's input!
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
I ran from missions. I ran from God. I tried to fit my feet into the shoes of a school teacher like many of the wonderful women in my family...that shoe didn't fit.
I tried to fit my feet into the shoes of a creative artist/photographer! That has to be it!
Wrong, those shoes didn't fit either.
Finally, I stopped running from God and what He wanted to finally say.
I went on a week of just me and God. Journaling and praying were all I did all week.
I made my life so quiet all I could do was listen.
A fire was lit that week in my spirit, a fire for missions. The spark was already there from when I was younger. My mother had told me of how when I was younger I had tugged on her arm and told her I was going to be a missionary one day. I still have a wrinkled up photo of a visiting missionary that spoke to me in children's church when I was merely 5 years old.
God took that spark and made a firework show of it. I've never felt more passionate and alive than I did when God gripped my spirit and showed me the love I am capable of on the mission field.
....Me?
No way...I'm a 5'2 skinny wimp of a girl that has no connections, anxiety attacks and asthma. I'm a dorky and "safe" girl.
 What the heck can I do over there with those children?
I am nothing.
I am unqualified.
I am fearful.
I am small.
My talent is of filthy rags.
There are far more qualified people to step foot on the mission field than me, but God called me anyway and He will qualify me with time.
It took five years for me to realize why that man walked away that night. I was not ready to know.
I thought I was ready to hear and know what calling God had placed on my life that night...hands sweating, feet tapping the dirt...just waiting to hear what great things I was going to do with my life!
Whoah....there was my problem.
I was wanting to hear what BRITNEY was going to do with BRITNEY'S life.
God knew I was not ready because I still was Britney-minded, not kingdom-minded.
I was too immature spiritually and in my heart for God to work in me.


God had to break my heart in order to put it back together the way He intended my heart to actually be.


God has called me to the mission field far from home. I am so very afraid of what is to come because I know it is so much bigger than what I could ever do...but God relentlessly and continuously covers me in His rest and peace that He is with me and that none of this has to do with MY capabilities but His.

God continues to send me confirmation of my calling over and over again. Just this week God used a dear friend to confirm the call again without her even knowing it...but I knew.

I am more afraid of staying here and in this sedentary life than I am any form of tragedy or death that comes with the call to missions. 


When I talk to someone about what God is doing in my heart and the love I already have for the people I will encounter when I go in God's timing, my heart just bursts with joy! I am so overwhelmed with love for these people I can not help but cry tears of excitement.

I know to the outside world it might sound crazy that I don't even know the place God has called me to go to yet, but I love it and the people there already.

It all sounds a little crazy and a little impossible, but that's why it's a God thing and not a Britney thing.


My name is Britney and my calling is missions.

Seeing Through Eyes of Adulthood; Loving with a Child's Heart

Many of you know that I work with children 5 days a week.
3/4 of my jobs since I turned 16 have involved children. I've always found it funny that I haven't inherited the desire to bare a child of my own yet I am always tied to children in so many areas of my life. It's an ongoing joke between me and God I think...maybe He's just trying to make a point.
Through out life, I have lost the desire to be a child...and now I long to return to that part of my life that was so sweet, innocent and short-lived.
When I was young I always complained about being a kid, about how I could not wait to grow up! ( like many children do, I'm sure)
I often was told I was a 7 year old with a 37 year old attitude and mind; an "old soul."
I loved hanging out with people older than me.
Most of my friends were the age of my older sister.
It's ironic and cruel how much I once longed to be where I am in life now and how much I now long to go back to when I wanted to do nothing but speed up the process of growing older.
A few summers back I worked at a daycare. I became attached to a few kids, but I was a teenager and rarely paid any attention to the heart of the kids or anything that they said to me.
I was only concerned with the clock.
Now that I am older (the old age of 22 ;) ) I pay much more attention. I listen to them. I watch them. I hold them. I understand them as much as I can.
I've always been a quiet observer in life. The one group I love to observe the most is children.
The way they act.
React.
Children have so much to say that we often do not pay attention to and it is often when we become the most disconnected from our inner child that we finally notice the lessons their kindred spirits may teach us.
A child can be hit in the face with a block, crying their eyes out to me one second and best friends with the very child who hit them in the FACE 5 minutes later.
A child can complain about their mother/father/friend/sibling like they can't STAND them when they walk through my doors and run into their arms with tears of relief and joy within the hour.
A child can sulk in time out and stick their tongue out at me one day, and draw me an "I love Mrs. Britney!" picture the very next afternoon.
Now, to act this way in adulthood would be a little to the extreme, but think about these lessons.
Often as an adult we trust little, gossip much, get angry much, forgive little, forget rarely and remember all too easily.
The girl at the office that looked at us cross-eyed once without meaning to is on our "She can go die" list for months, or perhaps forever if you're a grudge holder.
A friend that forgot to call, write, or cancelled on us stops being a priority in our life.
As a "grown-up," when we are scorned once, we may as well been scorned for life by an individual.
Often we find it difficult to know when to see through the eyes of adulthood yet love with the heart of a child.
Whoah.
That hit me hard too.
When you watch the innocence of a child's heart, yours will break.
I'm not talking about watching them like we typically do, making sure they don't do anything to kill themselves or others...
I'm talking about REALLY watching a child move, share, love, forgive.
I don't think God put a period where we often do.
I don't think God meant "Have child-like faith," and that's all it was.
I think God meant, " Take on your old innocence, your old trusting spirit, your old easily forgiving heart, your old sense of wonder and adventure in your walk with Me. Be a child again in heart, but walk in the growth you've taken hold of spiritually."
Sure, may be a stretch to those who have read the verse and just take it for what the text reads, but for me, that's what that verse now SCREAMS at me.
Every time I see a child slip into a joyful and merciful spirit towards another child that has ridiculed, hit, hurt, damaged them...God places His hand on my heart and reminds me of the girl I used to be.
Trusting easily.
Loving loudly.
Forgiving.
Forgetting the bad.
Letting the good triumph.
To be a child again is to LET LOVE WIN! 

"Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it" (Luke 18:17). Ask this question: Have you entered God's kingdom with childlike faith?

Friendships: Blessing or Burden?

I am a people pleaser. I care too much what people say about me or think of me. I am always striving to hold onto friendships that I need to release. These are three statements I would have said a few short months ago. My heart would break over a lost friend, and I would try to dissect myself to figure out why this person no longer desired my friendship. I would always be at a beckon call for a friend, fearing I'd lose them or they'd become upset with me. My personality is a little rough around the edges at times; I'm sarcastic, stubborn, and my meekness is often percepted as rudeness and/or snobiness. In reality, I'm tender-hearted, easily hurt, and easily taken advantage of. I struggled spiritually with this for quite some time. Didn't God require me to love others as He did? Unconditionally, never wavering, through low and high water? If I was loving my friends the way He designed me to, why did it always feel so wrong? Finally God explained to me that while I WAS loving, I was also abusing myself. Are we meant to carry a friend's burden? Yes. Are we meant to love our friends unconditionally? Yes. Are friendships designed to BE the burden in our lives? No. It has taken me so much time to know how thin the line actually is when it involves a friend, helping them carry their burden, but not letting my friendships become MY burdens. I will always love my friends, pray for them and encourage them. But I will no longer live to please my friends, or be weighed down by their weight. I have began to evaluate my friendships, and I've had to ask myself, " Is this friendship a blessing or a burden? Is this brother/sister in Christ HELPING carry the load or am I carrying this friendship?" God intended friendships to be a partnership, both working toward the same goal, not a tug of war, or even worse: you carrying the dead weight of your friend at the end of the rope. I've come to grips with the fact that not all friendships are designed to take residence in my life forever. I've come to grips with the friendships I've had to release and the future ones I'll have to bid farewell to. God has given me the ability to love the friends He has blessed me with deeply, and the strength to love myself enough to sever unhealthy and burdensome friendships. Do not make yourself sweat over a friend who doesn't break a sweat over you. Do not wipe your schedule clean for a friend that makes no effort to pencil you in. People will always make time for things/people they care about. So, care enough about yourself to take off the people pleaser coat and put on the robe of independancy! Friendships are a wonderful and beautiful blessing from God! Embrace the blessings and cut out the burdens.